Friday, July 21, 2006

Wusslife

AOL have posted a 111 wussiest songs of all time and, while no Westlife songs made the list (cos Americans don't know who Westlife are), a bunch of songs that Westlife have either covered or performed have made the list.

Thanks to Yaara, who posted the list over on The Committed. Here's the full list, for anyone who's interested. Or if Westlife need some more ideas for crappy covers (because of course Westlife are readin my blog).

110. 'Seasons in the Sun' Terry Jacks (1974) Originally intended for the Beach Boys, Terry Jacks' maudlin adaptation of Jacques Brel's 'Le Moribund' ('The Dying Man') was impossibly cloying and irony free. Ironically, it was also one of Kurt Cobain's favorite songs.

98. 'Against All Odds' Phil Collins (1984) Apparently, there were a lot of breakups in 1984, as this despondent ode to lost love topped the chart. The song completed one of music's weirder transitions -- Collins, who began as the behind-the-scenes drummer for the once-bizarro prog rock group Genesis, had become a power balladeer, setting the stage for Michael Bolton.

92. 'Mandy' Barry Manilow (1974) This first chart hit from the man who would continually reset the bar for pop wussiness was a No. 1 smash. Astonishing stat: 10 of Bar's first 11 hits topped the Adult Contemporary chart. But for God's sake, somebody kiss the guy already and stop him from shakin'.

76. 'To Be With You' Mr. Big (1991) The sole No. 1 hit for hard-rock shredders Mr. Big was more likely to be heard around a campfire than in a rock club. The follow-up single was 'Just Take My Heart,' further proof that sappy sells. Especially in Japan.

49. 'Hero' Mariah Carey (1993) Even the recording academy thought this hit was too sugary for its own good. Despite the song's presence at telethons, tributes and kiddie concerts, the '95 Grammy for Pop Female Vocalist went to Sheryl Crow's 'All I Wanna Do.' Proof that fun in the sun trumps multi-octive soul-searching.

28. 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' Wham (1984) Maybe it was the way George Michael rhymed "go-go" with "yo-yo." Perhaps it's because he compared the sun to Doris Day -- back when he wasn't openly gay. Whatever the reason, listen between the lines and you'll hear why the Whammer was left sleeping while his partner went out to boogie.

27. 'More Than Words' Extreme (1991) After this long-haired Boston foursome failed to hit big with heavy metal, they went straight for the sell-out ballad, complete with the requisite acoustic-guitars-on-stools video. More common at '90s high school dances than spiked punch.

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