We're Men! We're Men In Tights!

Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away when men were still men, women were still virgins and sex was still sexy, there live a beautiful maiden who wished to marry for love - but her father wanted her to marry the vilest man in the kingdom for cold, hard cash. Only the mighty musketeers could save her. However this plan had been thwarted after Duke Vincent had them cast into a filthy dungeon. There seemed to be no hope ...

And so starts the video. It's the most adventurous video they've done so far, complete with horse stunts, sword fighting, and... (gasp!) an actual storyline! Yes, the mighty Westketeers escape from the dungeon, break up the wedding, and save the girl from the eeeeeeeeevil Duke Vincent (Vinnie Jones). It's silly, it's over the top, but did it ever make for an awesome video! And if sword fighting isn't really your thing, there's the consolation prize of seeing the lads in tights.

Admittedly, a song that has the lyrics "when I call you at home and he answers the phone, when I get your machine and I don't hear me" wouldn't tie in with the most technologically advanced musketeers, but who cares? Shane rides a horse through a church!

The b-sides here are, for the most part, wonderful. A band-penned song called You Don't Know has to be the first ever to feature no lead vocals from Shane, and doesn't suffer for a moment. Its a heart-wrenchingly honest cry from both Bryan and Mark about how the world feels they know them, made all the more poignant considering Bryan's later departure and Mark's recent coming out. Second b-side Bad Girls is fantastically awful, to the point where it's a delight to listen to just for the self-deprecating smile it puts on your face when you realise you're tapping your foot along. It's half-baked, totally out of left-field, and features a fast-paced chorus that borders so close on becoming a rap it's scary.

Then there's the remixes of Imaginary Diva and Bop Bop Baby. They're fun, but they had it right the first time, so no reworking can possibly do the songs justice.

And it's the first and only single ever written by the band themselves. It only went to number five, the lowest chart position ever, mostly due to the fact that BMG (now SonyBMG) were of absolutely no help and barely promoted it, scheduling the song for release during a tour, when Westlife were least able to promote it.

It's always nice to know your record company are behind you, but only while you depend completely on them and do what you're told.